Category: Uncategorized

Giant Worms Kill Bigfoot

bigfootSKAMANIA, Washington–Witnesses in a small town in southwestern Washington state observed a cryptozoological catastrophe last weekend when a giant worm attacked and devoured a whole family of bigfoot. “Unfortunately the ground was shaking and it all happened so fast that we didn’t have time to get out and turn on our camcorder,” said Chuck Hartwell, a local logger who was out camping with his family when they witnessed the attack.

Al Gore inside worm-proof compound

al_officeNASHVILLE, Tennessee–As reported earlier, Al Gore has been building a titanium-lined compound where he can remain safe from giant worms that are otherwise ravaging the planet. Now Al Gore has released a new photo showing himself inside his worm-proof lair. While he publicly has yet to acknowledge that giant worms are a greater threat than global warming, he has taken extraordinary measures to protect his own home from giant worms. As one neighbor commented, “he’s spent more money and time into protecting himself from giant worms than he has spent reducing his carbon footprint.” As Deep Throat famously quipped back in the 1970s, if you want to know what’s really going on out there, follow the money.

Dangerous “cute worm” propaganda

header_01In a world threatened by devastating giant worm attacks, a pro-worm faction is creating “cute worm” propaganda to desensitize the public to this enormous danger. One of the latest of these pro-worm efforts is The Worm Dude, which tries to encourage people to adopt and take care of small worms in their homes. Until we wake up to the true danger of giant worms, and the dangerous propaganda of those who want us to be soft on worms, our very continuance as a species remains in jeopardy.